Saturday, December 20, 2008


You have GOT to be kidding me!?! This note is what I woke up to this morning- a lovely little note from Boys' roommate- taped to the front door handle along with the "dish" that I did not wash. The dish was a 2x2 Tupperware dish that I was eating m&ms out of. (If it can be held up by tape----it's not a dish).

(If you can't read it- it says, "Little sack, Why do none of your dishes make it into the dishwasher? If you want to be up at this house you need to clean up after yourself!")

Boy's roommate is without a doubt the BIGGEST passive aggressive A**HOLE I have ever encountered. This note, was the straw that broke the camel's back. Because I am so ragingly pissed right now, I will tell you the series of bullsh*t things that Boy's roommate (we will call him Jerk) has put me through.

Background facts:
Jerk had his girlfriend living at the house for over a year before she paid for a single bill, utility, or otherwise and was there every day when Jerk wasn't (after a year of living there for free, she now pays bills)
My college roommate's boyfriend basically lived at my house and was very messy. and I HATED it. He was there more than i was there- slept every night there, etc. So, when I moved home, I vowed that I would not be "that girlfriend" and I would not be at Boy's house too much. I have kept that promise to myself very well, and am rarely there more than two nights a week.
I also make sure that all of my things are only ever in Boy's room and not in common areas, and that shared dishes (pot's, plates, etc) are washed immediately after use.

Instances of Jerk throwing straws at camels back:

1. Instance 1- Boy and I had been dating for about 2 years when I graduated, moved out of my college townhouse and moved back home. Up until that point Boy and I split time between hanging out at each other's places, but were never together for more than 2-3 nights per week. When I moved home, I would often go over Boy's after work on Friday and because of differing schedules, I would be at Boy's house before Boy got home. Instead of relying on Boy's roommates to be home- Boy made me a key. Fine.
One week day I had to stopped by Boy's house to pick up something I left there. Not expecting anyone to be home, I was frightened when Jerk was home and asked me what I was doing there.
LS: Uh, picking something up
Jerk: How'd you get in?
LS: I have a key
Jerk: How'd you get a key?
LS: Boy made me one.
Jerk: OH?! (Turn on heel and walk away)

So, being pretty intuitive I realized Jerk was not happy, quickly left the house, told Boy about it and began to walk to walk on egg shells, feeling very unwelcome.

2. Instance Two: Jerk is VERY particular about a clean house, which is fine. I like things tidy too. I can appreciate that. Over the 2 years Boy and I have been dating, he has yelled (yes, yelled and scolded) at Boy to clean up his dishes. Knowing how particular Jerk is about this--I always make sure that immediately after we finish eating dinner--the dishes are washed.

3. Instance three: Boy generally works on Saturday morning, so he leaves his house before I get up. Last weekend I got up to leave and a cup and a "dish" (again a small Tupperware I was eating baked cheetos out of) were sitting on the stairway, as a clear sign to me to put them the hell away. Because Jerk was in the kitchen and I wanted to avoid him, I stepped over the dishes and left the house. I wasn't giving into his passive aggressive bull shit.

4. Instance four: This morning I am leaving the house (again after Boy has gone to work) and find this LOVELY little note taped to the door knob. Just last night Boy told me I was "reading too much into Jerk's action." I was Freikin livid when I saw this note! Like, beyond a normal level of anger and pissed off-ness. First, I always ensure that out dinner dishes are done and I'm sorry that I left a cup out on the coffee table, because I forgot to put it away before bed. But I really don't understand why this is such a big deal. And, if it is such a big deal---all Jerk has to say is, "Hey, Littlesack, i'd appreciate it if youd put your cups in the dishwasher before going to bed." LIKE A GROWN UP!

So, I call Boy to tell him that I am certainly not overreacting, because well, Jerk left me this lovely little letter. (My favorite part of the letter is the "if you want to be here" like he is threatening from barring me from Boy's home like I'm a five year old child).
So, Boy promises me he will talk to Jerk about it.

And this is also the last straw for Boy too (who has way more patience than I have ever possessed). Apparently, Boy told me this this morning, but a few months ago, Jerk told Boy that since I was there more, I should have to pay utilities. Boy didn't feel like arguing, so he agreed. (don't get me started on why he agreed.) So, for the past few months the utilities have been split five ways (Jerk, jerk's GF, other roommate, Boy, and me) and Boy has been paying 2 shares. HONESTLY---WTF?!?!!?! I have, over the entire course of our more than 2 year relationship taken less than 10 showers there. I am also only there when Boy isn't for less than an hour most Friday nights. There is no way I am using enough utilities to warrant Boy paying two shares. And, I'm upset that Boy was paying that money and didn't tell me.

I have lost it! I am a 22 year old woman! I, nor my 24 year old boyfriend, do not deserve to be treated like we are children. I am at my wit's end and honestly have no idea what to do about it. Boy is going to talk to Jerk, but, I certainly don't want to go there anymore. But--where am I going to go? Living at home isn't awful, but I'm only doing it to save money while going to grad school. I have no place of my own, and If I can't go to Boy's, where will I go when I need downtime?

UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have no more to say, I am sorry that this is long and ugly, but I needed to get it off my chest because crying about it wasn't helping.


Newport Nuptials said...

That is rough. I lived with a guy like that. I moved in with my fiance sophmore year with his roomate from freshman and sophmore year. The guy was so passive aggressive and would complain to everyone about how messy I was, when he didn't clean the bathroom once the two years we lived together (I did multiple times and my boyfriend did too) and he ate out most nights, but when he actually had someone cook for him, he would leave the dishes in the sink for 2 weeks, until my boyfriend cleaned them up. Then he would complain if I left dishes in the sink overnight. Again-not to my face. Very frustrating, I feel your pain!

Whitney said...

Oh I am so sorry! Don't you HATE passive agressive people?!?! The best thing you can do is not allow him to be passive agressive like that. When you see a note or something to that effect, confront the situation immediately. Passive agressive people can RARELY handle confrontation and so he will crack. It's worked for me a million times!

Mojito Maven said...

Seriously? Seriously? Is this guy for real???????????????? W.O.W.

I HATE passive aggressive people!!!! I am the type of person who would start to purposely leave LOTS of dirty dishes, towels, etc out just to see him react hahahahahhahahahhaha.

I'm sorry! *HUGS*

J said...

I agree oh well it seems like a lot of people are hypocrites. Hope things get better somehow. I have similar problems with my roommates and them not cleaning and expecting me to do it because I am a girl and they are guys

Mrs. Stilettos said...

Um as your best friend...I can't reply here. I need to write you an email because it is not PG! WTF.

Pink Pearls & Muddy Sneakers said...

1. Jerk is the equivalent of my former roommate's gf. AND SHE DID NOT EVEN LIVE THERE, but managed to make me feel unwelcome in my own home. She sucks, and so does jerk.
2. I ived at home for the first year of law school, and for more than 6 months afterward. It's so weird not to have a place of your own, to just let your hair down. Maybe you could find a divey-but safe place with a roommate to cut costs? Fingers are crossed for you.

Mrs. Stilettos said...

I left you a little sweet somethin' somethin' on my blog! Go check it out!!

Mrs. Not-so-Domesticated said...

What an awful person. Obviously he doesn't have the balls to actually say something so he has to be weak and leave little notes. I'd say ignore him and make the Boy stop paying 2 shares of bills...completely unfair. Youre not on the lease and you don't live there, so you should NOT be responsible for bills...I very much dislike petty people.

Saskia said...

That's guy sounds terrible. It must be really awful for you not to feel 100% welcome there - what a rotten way to behave.

I've experienced living with a horrible housemate and the one good thing about it is that it makes living together just Mr B & I SO SO GOOD!

Hugs x

Anonymous said...

That is just so rude! I'm sorry you have to put up with all that balogna!


PS: I tagged you!

Jennifer said...

I definitely know how you feel with the horrible roommate thing! My college roommate ran me out of the house the third year we lived together when she started telling everyone how messy I was (Even though I did all the cleaning... Her idea of cleaning was doing her dirty dishes), she got a dog that destroyed my furniture, and then finally started locking me out of the house! I hope your situation improves!!!