Monday, April 27, 2009

S is for Summer (Weather!)

The weekend weather was amazing! Was it nice where you are? I hope so, because this weekend the weather was gorgeous (of course I sweat the entire time, but once it gets above 70, I start sweating non-stop, so, that is neither here nor there).

The entire weekend I spent outside. A picnic on Friday with Boy, celebrating a gal pals birthday at a rooftop bar on Saturday. And Sunday was the perfect Baltimore day.

Thanks to free tickets from my company, I had tickets to the Orioles game yesterday. Boy, a friend and I went to the Orioles v. Rangers game downtown and enjoyed a really exciting and winning game. Luckily, our seats were in the shade!
After the game we enjoyed crabs and corn on the cob on the back deck with music and friends. The first crabs of the season were amazing and it was the perfect end to the weekend.

I hope your weekend was equally as nice and enjoyable!
Sorry about the lack of not-me-Monday, but the only ridiculous things I did this weekend involved more peeing in the woods and bumping into stationary objects, and you've read about those things before. I'll be back with more sarcasm next week.

Friday, April 24, 2009

A Cause for Celebration!

Ladies, it is time for a celebration!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, the other day I was at Boy's house, hanging out in his room when Boy went into the hallway for something and I heard Jerk room mate (remember him?) say, Hey, Boy, I want to talk to you for a second. I wanted to do this when you were alone, but this will have to do.*
(At this point I think its going to be about me, so my ears perk up).

Jerk RM: So, as you know I plan on buying this house from my father within the next few months.
Boy: Yup.
Jerk RM: And well, Dana and I (Jerk's gf) have decided that it is time for us to move into the next phase of our life, and we'd like to live here, just us two. So, we were hoping that you could find another place to live by the middle of the summer.
Me (in the room, by myself, dancing around in circles, SOOOOOO EXCITED!)
Boy: Yeah, okay, that is fine.

So, Boy comes back into the room and I act all innocent, like, wow, that really stinks that you have to find a new place to live. Boy was like-- Don't even act like you aren't excited, I know you are!

And ladies--I AM EXCITED! Boy has a really high tolerance for Jerk's bullshit and because Boy is trying to save money, I know he was planning on staying there for a little while longer.

So, yes, it is totally selfish that I am super excited and Boy has to go through all the hassle of the moving process. And, yes I feel slightly bad that Boy is basically being kicked out. But, my feelings of, "HOLY CRAP, NO MORE JERK ROOMMATE!" totally override those other feelings. (You can call me a bad girlfriend if you want, but Boy moving is probabaly going to be one of the best things that has happened for our relationship).

So, WOOOHOOO! It is time to bust out the real estate section and get to work! Any suggestions in the Baltimore-metro area?!

*First of all, don't be so damned passive aggressive. I am hardly ever at the house during the week, unless I am coming over after class and its 10'oclock at night and Jerk is already in bed. I just randomly happened to be there, so don't act like I am always there monopolizing Boy's time, because that is simply NOT true.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009


I played soccer for 12 years, 8 of which were really competitive, including four years on a Division I soccer team. But once my senior soccer season was over, I was over soccer. I immediately stopped caring. For the past year or so, I couldn't figure out why I didn't miss it.

And finally, I figured it out (as this post will tell)...
My four years of college soccer were rough. I'll spare you most of the details, but basically I had difficulty adjusting to college in general and I was riding the bench, a lot. It was super difficult to go from being an all-star on my club team to a bench rider within months. It crushed me. Once I started playing more, we got a new coach who just screwed up our team chemistry. She was immature, divisive, and just plain crazy. I'll spare you most of these gory details too, but here are some gems from her tenure.

1. After losing a game we should never have lost, we ran sprints for an hour after the game. (a MAJOR NCAA violation)

2. She was so pissed at us one day, at the away game, she made us sleep on the floor in a hotel conference room. Again, huge violation.

3. For shorter away trips, we would take team vans (the 15 passenger variety). She thought it was a good idea to race the assistant coach in these vans. They almost flipped and it was one of the top ten scariest moments of my life.

4. She also thought it was a good idea to have us compete in a sprint-triathlon without any training. (On a side note, I did this after pulling an all-nighter writing a paper and was so high on aderral and red-bull that I didn't even notice the pain until hours later. I also lost my contacts in the pool and had to squint through the 10 mile bike ride and 6 mile run.)

Regardless, as a captain, I put everything I had into the team my senior year. I planned big dawg-little dawg stuff, an entire camping trip, team bonding, thanksgiving dinner, everything. Despite all these efforts, we lost, a lot and it was miserable. I cared SO much and gave the team everything I had, that my brain was so consumed with the team. It was really common for me to tell everyone what to wear to practice (what colors) and then show up wearing the completely wrong thing.

My revelation:
I wouldn't trade those soccer years for anything, but they wiped me out- physically, emotionally, mentally. And it isn't the soccer that I am over, its the competition. I cared SO MUCH for SO LONG that I don't have that care in me anymore. I stopped playing indoor last summer because it was far too competitive. The last straw was when a 40 year old man called me a "fat b*tch." I was so angry, it was unbelievable. I couldn't stop shaking. I am just over that level of competition.

But, the point is...I just, honestly, do not care. I want to play for fun, and only for fun. If I whiff the ball, who cares? If we loose, who cares? Not me, sister, not me! And now that I have figured out why I stopped playing, it feels so good. I'm starting to realize why I loved soccer in the first place. And once my schedule slows down a bit, I'd love to get into coaching a youth team. But--it's just the realization that I really do miss soccer, and I really do love it, but its only the sweet, fun parts that I miss- the reason I started playing as a ten year old.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Not Me! Monday

Have a bad week?
Do so many ridiculous things you can't even remember them all?
Then "Not Me! Monday" is the perfect free therapy for you!

In case you haven't been introduced to Not Me! Monday, yet, here are a few details. This fun game originated with MckMama. Here are the rules to playing, but in sum, you just list a lot of things you "didn't" (read: actually did) do this weekend/past week. All in the name of admitting that we all make mistakes and aren't perfect.

This past week...

I certainly did not cry during Biggest Loser when Kristin saw her hubby after her makeover. I am not totally invested in the show and would never let a stranger's life affect me like that.

While running intervals on the treadmill (during the prime 5-6 oclock hour) my towel did not fall off the top part, it did not land straight onto the mill, and I certainly did not step directly on top of it and fling it off my back heel onto the person elicpitcalling behind me. Nothing like that would ever happen to me and I was not totally mortified that my sweaty towel slapped a fellow Gold's gym member. I will not be surprised when he writes me a "dear fellow gym member" letter.

While camping this weekend, I clearly did not pee beside my car and when I couldn't find the hand sanitizer in the dark, I did not decide that hand washing isn't a necessity in the wilderness. I did not do this several times. It is not totally disgusting and way gross.

I did not stay up into the wee hours of the morning Saturday night dancing around the bonfire and splashing my drink everywhere. I did not nap and eat gross hangover foods all day Sunday. I did not secretly enjoy my super lazy Sunday. When I asked Boy what he felt like, he did not reply "a three-toed sloth." I did not fall off the couch laughing hysterically!

How was your week? Did you gross out a fellow gym member too? Maybe you even walked into a shut door. Whatever you "didn't" do-- now is the time to share!

Wednesday, April 15, 2009


While perusing the liquor store the other day, I found this: Mad Housewife Wine. I know I'm not a wife, and not a houswife, but if I was, I would love this wine. Well, I love this wine anyways, but I would really love it if I was housewife. I just think its really my sense of humor.
It reminded me a lot of the Anne Taintor gear that PP&MS posted about awhile back. To me the wine says, "Yes I will plaster a smile on my face and deal with some man's bullshit all day, but I will also come home and take a bottle of wine to the face and everything will be ok."

They say a picture says a thousand words. Can't a wine bottle speak to me as well?

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

It's Becoming A Pattern

Bigsack's behavior, that is.

To me, Holidays are about family and I am lucky enough to have a pretty big family to spend those holidays with. My family may drive me out of my skull and make me wish I had some Xanex and a bottle of wine, but they are family and I love them regardless.
I understand that some have made their own families with great friends and not necessarily "relatives," but whatever you define as family, is family.

Anyways, boyfriends are not family.

I love Boy, but right now he is still Boy and not Husband, and therefore not family. I know he feels the same way about me. Being with him on Holidays would be nice, but neither of us are willing to give up our family holidays. And we are both perfectly content with this arrangement.

Bigsack, on the other hand, has a completely different view of things. As I've written about (many times) before, she has wrapped her life around her boyfriend, Paul.

Since Thanksgiving, this has been the pattern:
On Holidays, Bigsack and her boyfriend, will spend some time with my family, and moments after eating, get up to go spend the rest of the day with Paul's family. I continue to not understand why they have to do this. I like Paul a lot, I think he is level headed and good for my sister, so it isn't about him at all. But I fail to understand: Why can't Paul spend the day with his family and Bigsack spend the day with our family? Why do they have to rush through spending time at both places? Why do they have to do EVERYTHING together.

This's driving me bananas and I know I have written about it before. So, next Thanksgiving, please remind me to have the strength to ask my sister WHY she has to rush through Holidays like this, just so the entire day can be spent with Paul.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Not Me! Monday

And now back to our regularly scheduled programing. After taking last Monday off from Not Me! Monday, I am back in action. In case you haven't been introduced to Not Me! Monday, yet, here are a few details. This fun game originated with MckMama. Here are the rules to playing, but in sum, you just list a lot of things you "didn't" (read: actually did) do this weekend/past week. All in the name of admitting that we all make mistakes and aren't perfect.

This past week..

I did not make it my Lenten goal to go to church every weekend. I did not only make it 3 times (including Easter). =(

I certainly did not fall asleep at 9 pm on Friday night. Boy and I are young and vibrant and in the prime of our lives. I would never fall asleep that early on a weekend.

I did not have a near panic attack at my grandma's house yesterday because everyone in my family likes to talk at once and not only is the noise deafening, it makes me really anxious. I did not numb my anxiety with half a bottle of wine and six chocolate eggs.

My mother did not buy Cheeto (my indoor cat) a harness and leash so he could run around the backyard while she was doing yardwork. Cheeto did not hate every minute of it and refuse to be walked around like a dog. He did not sit down in the middle of the yard and not budge until I picked him up and ended the debacle. It was not entirely hysterical!

I certainly did not get yelled at in church Sunday morning for talking with my sister BEFORE mass even started. I did not let this woman make me feel like I was ten years old.
(This was absolutely ridiculous! I was telling my sister how to get her gluten free communion while the choir was singing as they always do before mass on Easter. The lady behind us rolled up her song sheet and hit me on the arm and screeched, "I can't hear the service!" [I'm pretty sure she meant the choir] but...EVERYONE else in the church was still filtering in and saying hello and greeting family and friends. I was baffled and humiliated and it was completely ridiculous. The woman was only in her 40s or 50s, its not like she was a batty 80 year old that you would expect this out of. After she hit me, I just turned around and almost died. I mean...what could I say, "Listen, "B*tch. I'm an adult. You don't admonish another adult like that. A polite, "ladies could you keep it down, id like to hear the choir," would have worked. You don't need to wack me with a song sheet." I mean--we were in church, it wasn't the time for my snarky side to come out. But still---the whole thing was utterly ridiculous!)

Okay, that is about all for this week. Anything you didn't do this past week?

Friday, April 10, 2009

Awkward Coworkers

Everyone has at least one. That coworker that no one understands. We all ponder where they came from. And now, without further ado, I would like to introduce you to the cast of characters at my work.

1. The whisper whistler.
This delightful individual is my cube neighbor so I witness his eccentricities first hand. He is 26 or 27 but acts like he is 20-21. Comes to work with wrinkled clothes, shirt un-tucked, wet hair and sneakers. Basically, you can tell that he never had the influence of a girlfriend to ensure that his appearance was acceptable for work. Anyways, he does this thing where he whistles reaaallllllyyyyyyy silently, so that it is barely audible. It almost sounds like air coming out of a vent, but it is EXTREMELY annoying. I'm sitting there trying to comprehend what I am reading and its like this little whistling elf is sitting on my desk. Constantly. He only stops when he is eating or talking.

2. The bathroom talker.
This woman geeks me out the most. I have issues with talking in the bathroom. Once I enter the stall, all talking should stop, immediately. I just think it's really awkward. The bathroom talker, however has other ideas. Not only does she try to talk to me when I enter the stall, but she talks to herself too. This is the worst part. I walk into the bathroom to hear someone in a stall saying, "ooooohhh Lordy, what is wrong with my stomach?" I almost fell over and died and left immediately. This has happened on multiple occassions- She is ALWAYS talking to herself in the stall. I find it very uncomforatable.

3. The Adult Child.
This guy, by far, is my favorite awkward co-worker. He is extremely smart, but has no social skills at all. I have no idea where he came from, who raised him, or how he got this way. I would love to be a fly on the wall in his home.
Some of the things he does:
when you are talking he will stare at you when you stop so that you feel forced to keep talking (I know this is a lawyer trick).
when talking to me, he will lift up his shirt and play with belly button.
he will wear a polo, khakis, and his black dress shoes that should be worn with a suit.
He will forward me emails from the current girl he is dating and ask me to interpret her mood and the tone in her email (which would be fine if we are friends, but he is my superior), He will also call me when he is out of the office and ask me to read him his email from his current girl (emails that he hasn't read yet). On Monday mornings he will go over his weekend dates with the current girl and ask me my opinion on "why she left his house at 2 am instead of staying the night." eeekkkk....

So, these are my favorite awkward coworkers. Next week's installment...The Boss.
Until then, who are some of your favorite awkward coworkers?

Monday, April 6, 2009

Update Monday

I'm skipping Not Me! Monday this week. Not because I didn't do a series of rediculous things, but they are the same old things- running into standing objects, over reacting, and over indulging on chocolate.

Instead, I'm having an update Monday.

Last week I talked about potentially not being able to graduate in December and how it was ruining my life (see? over reacting!). However, I kept following up with the situation and went to the head of our department. And, apparently one of my favorite professors went to bat for me and convinced the department head that I should be allowed to graduate in December. So, YEAH! The department has granted me permission to wiggle around my schedule to get it all done by the end of 2009! WOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! Now, it's just a matter of passing all those classes.

So, thank you for all your well wishes and concerns, apparently our bloggy might was pretty strong last week.

I have a tough school week ahead of me (one of those where everything falls in the same week), so I'll probably be pretty absent. Hope everyone has a lovely week.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Random Musings from Littlesack...

I don't have much to say today. My head is full of worries and stories that I can't seem to put into words. So, is just some random thoughts that are totally unimportant, but really weird...

Sometimes the "Word verification" words for leaving comments on blogs are really hard for me to spell. It really annoys me when it gives me a word like "egdyebfksfkan." I usually mistype on purpose and hope for an easier one.

I noticed yesterday that it is really impossible to "be a lady" while driving. Especially while wearing a skirt. Especially while driving stick. Clearly men invented the car.

There is no word for when you run into someone in the hallway and then to get around them, you both go the same way, and then you both go the same way again, and then its really awkward and one person just stops moving so the other can get around. When this happens in a story you are telling you have to go through the whole thing. Like, "So I ran into Billy in the hall and we did that thing where....(you get the idea). My dad invented a word for it. It's called "sniggling." I really like it and think its funny. My whole family uses it now, so its "Billy and I sniggled in the hall." (It sounds dirty, haha!).

I do not understand people who honk or holler at me when I am running. What is their purpose? Generally, it startles me so much my gait gets messed up for a step and I trip and almost fall. Very annoying.

Ok, that was all totally worthless information and completely random, but, welcome to my life.