Waterproof Mascara

I own one tube of waterproof mascara. And use it only for high-crying probability events. Weddings, greeting new babies, graduation, funerals.

This summer, my waterproof mascara has been used far too many times. And not, for the happy crying events- like weddings and babies. Unfortunately, its been for the bad events- the funerals and hospital visits.

As I'm sure most of you know, Boy's older brother died earlier this summer. About a week after that, I found out that my Aunt Kathy's health went severely downhill. She had pretty advanced central nervous system/brain cancer. They started her on chemo, but the chemo caused her brain to swell, which caused her to have seizures. She was put into a coma to control the seizures; that was too weeks ago. She never woke up from the coma, and today, she passed on.

Today, I heard my father cry on the phone. I have never, ever, witnessed him crying. It was painful.

Throughout these past few weeks, I told Boy very little. He'd been through so much, I couldn't burden him with my tears. I am still hesitant to ask him to come to the funeral. I'm strong enough to do this on my own--should I ask him to come along after just loosing his brother. He is one of the strongest people I know, but would this bring up painful memories? I also haven't written about it all on here. I had already asked for so many prayers for Boy and his family, I felt I'd used up my allotment.

So, this has been my summer...Tough and depressing and consisting of loosing two people who were very close to me. I start my last semester of grad school on Wednesday. I imagine it going like this, "Hi, Im littlesack. I'm on the education track in the public policy program. This past summer...I went to two funerals and learned that holding up your boyfriend during his brother's funeral is immensely painful."

I need a Xanex.

Littlesack is on Vacation

By the time you read this post, I will be in Italy! for a ten day tour of Southern Italy.

(photo courtesy of photobucket)

I will be back on June 3, hopefully with plenty of my own photos to share. I hope everyone has a fantastic holiday weekend and can't wait to catch up when I get back!

My Mother

A few weeks ago I was out with some friends and jokingly someone said to someone else, "That really isn't what you were planning on wearing tonight?" Totally sarcastic and joking. It became a running joke for the night--"You decided on that hairstyle, those shoes, etc."
The type of joke that is only allowable between really close girlfriends.

Later in the night we joked that this type of snide remark is something my mother would say, totally seriously.

Cut to Saturday afternoon, I was eating lunch trying to peacefully read the comics. When, from my mother comes, "So, I guess you aren't going to be getting a hair cut before we leave for Italy. It's a little out of shape."

Seriously?

No, mother, in fact, I WILL NOT be getting a hair cut before we go. I'm growing it out and Italy or not, I'm not cutting it. And, to add insult to injury, I will be wearing those totally comfy cotton capris you hate on our flight, you can roll your eyes all you want. I do not care.

I'm going to start slipping some Xanex into her O.J.

PS- On a lighter note, the always fashionable Mrs. Potts is having a really good give-a-way!

Happy Mothers Day!

Ladies that are Mothers, or soon-to-be mothers, I wish you a Happy Mother's Day! I hope you find it relaxing and enjoyable. And, please know that even if your little ones never say it, they really do appreciate all that you do.

Here is a picture of me and my own mama and my sister at a Mother's Day Tea yesterday. (I'm on the left.)

Italia in T- 18 days!

That's right, ladies, I'm going to Italy!!!!* In 2.5 weeks!

I've never been to Europe, so I am beyond excited for this 10 day trip with my parents and older sister. I am Italian on both sides, a history buff, and lover of all things beautiful, so this trip is going to be majestic, beautiful, and perfecto! (plus I get to use my fake Italian accent, by adding vowels to the end of every word. You know, like... ohh Ia likea mya spaghettia!)

Anyways, I get the feeling that lots of you laides have been overseas and I am seeking out your advice. What to wear, what not to miss, etc.

But really, I need some advice on what shoes to wear. I need a comforatable pair of walking shoes that I can wear all day and that don't look dumb or geeky. Idealy, I'd like a pair that works with shorts/shirts and pants. I know this is asking alot, but any advice is greatly appreciated!

Thanks ladies! Looking forward to your thoughts.

*Pending any massive piggy-flu outbreak. =(

It's Becoming A Pattern

Bigsack's behavior, that is.

To me, Holidays are about family and I am lucky enough to have a pretty big family to spend those holidays with. My family may drive me out of my skull and make me wish I had some Xanex and a bottle of wine, but they are family and I love them regardless.
I understand that some have made their own families with great friends and not necessarily "relatives," but whatever you define as family, is family.

Anyways, boyfriends are not family.

I love Boy, but right now he is still Boy and not Husband, and therefore not family. I know he feels the same way about me. Being with him on Holidays would be nice, but neither of us are willing to give up our family holidays. And we are both perfectly content with this arrangement.

Bigsack, on the other hand, has a completely different view of things. As I've written about (many times) before, she has wrapped her life around her boyfriend, Paul.

Since Thanksgiving, this has been the pattern:
On Holidays, Bigsack and her boyfriend, will spend some time with my family, and moments after eating, get up to go spend the rest of the day with Paul's family. I continue to not understand why they have to do this. I like Paul a lot, I think he is level headed and good for my sister, so it isn't about him at all. But I fail to understand: Why can't Paul spend the day with his family and Bigsack spend the day with our family? Why do they have to rush through spending time at both places? Why do they have to do EVERYTHING together.

This pattern...it's driving me bananas and I know I have written about it before. So, next Thanksgiving, please remind me to have the strength to ask my sister WHY she has to rush through Holidays like this, just so the entire day can be spent with Paul.

Trouble with BigSack

For the past seven months, my sister has revolved her life around her new boyfriend. It bothers me for so many reasons and yet, I don't tell her. I don't know if I don't tell her because I'm scared she will be pissed at me if I tell her the truth, or if I just want to leave her alone in her love bubble.

She is too old to act like this---in her mid twenties, she has an advanced degree and a specialized job. She is a grown woman, yet she overlooks family and lifelong friends to spend time with her boyfriend. An athlete her entire life, she has stopped working out because she says she doesn't have the time to run before going over her boyfriend's after work.

It's not like she is the only woman to have ever done this. At one stage or another, most of us leave our senses behind and abandon friends and family for a boy.

The trouble is, she has done this before and didn't learn her lesson. She did this with another boy and it ended because she suffocated him.

I think it bothers me the most because generally, in life, I am pretty independent. I often crave time alone and enjoy days off reading a good book with no one to bother me. This independence transcends into my relationship with Boy. Yes, we spend a lot of time together, but we also have activities/interests outside of each other. We frequently go out with out each other. I do not need to see him everyday. I like to give him a chance to miss me. I certainly do not skip out on my family to be with him on Holidays.

I just wish the girl would lead her life and find ways to fit her boyfriend into it, not lead her life around her boyfriend. Or, maybe I wish I had the strength to stand up to her and tell her she is acting like a high schooler and needs to act like a grown woman... However, it's likely that neither will happen and I will continue to brood inside until i snap about it.

Tea Time

As i mentioned last Friday, I was invited to afternoon tea at the Ritz Carlton yesterday. It was a "thank-you" gesture to all of the ladies who had helped my cousin over the past year with her twins.

It was lovely, fabulous, and truly wonderful and I was delighted to have been invited. However, it was certainly a break from the norm for me. I certainly do not regularly attend "tea." (Although I do drink tea everyday, it is usually in a thermos on my way to work or in a chipped mug while lounging in sweats). I am a girl who hikes and camps and revolves her weekend around flag football and watching football all day on Sunday.

So to change my usual Sunday of sweats and stew to one of ruffles, tea sandwiches, and crumpets was certainly a nice change of routine. (And, I still got home in time to watch the Skins play the Ravens!)

Beautiful Babies

I don't have much to say today, but i wanted to share this photo because it makes me giggle. This is a picture of my twin beautiful almost one-year old cousins. Nora is in the laundry basket and Ryan is leaning in. This weekend I will be attending a tea that their mother invited me to- it is a tea to thank all of the ladies who have helped her over the past year. I have to say, it has been a joy to help. Nora and Ryan are so delightful. Nora is a chunky monkey and everyone says she looks like me when I was an infant; it's all in the long eyelashes and chunky thighs we share. (The former is a family trait I am thankful for, the latter, not so much).

Enjoy the Weekend!