Friday, April 10, 2009

Awkward Coworkers

Everyone has at least one. That coworker that no one understands. We all ponder where they came from. And now, without further ado, I would like to introduce you to the cast of characters at my work.

1. The whisper whistler.
This delightful individual is my cube neighbor so I witness his eccentricities first hand. He is 26 or 27 but acts like he is 20-21. Comes to work with wrinkled clothes, shirt un-tucked, wet hair and sneakers. Basically, you can tell that he never had the influence of a girlfriend to ensure that his appearance was acceptable for work. Anyways, he does this thing where he whistles reaaallllllyyyyyyy silently, so that it is barely audible. It almost sounds like air coming out of a vent, but it is EXTREMELY annoying. I'm sitting there trying to comprehend what I am reading and its like this little whistling elf is sitting on my desk. Constantly. He only stops when he is eating or talking.

2. The bathroom talker.
This woman geeks me out the most. I have issues with talking in the bathroom. Once I enter the stall, all talking should stop, immediately. I just think it's really awkward. The bathroom talker, however has other ideas. Not only does she try to talk to me when I enter the stall, but she talks to herself too. This is the worst part. I walk into the bathroom to hear someone in a stall saying, "ooooohhh Lordy, what is wrong with my stomach?" I almost fell over and died and left immediately. This has happened on multiple occassions- She is ALWAYS talking to herself in the stall. I find it very uncomforatable.

3. The Adult Child.
This guy, by far, is my favorite awkward co-worker. He is extremely smart, but has no social skills at all. I have no idea where he came from, who raised him, or how he got this way. I would love to be a fly on the wall in his home.
Some of the things he does:
when you are talking he will stare at you when you stop so that you feel forced to keep talking (I know this is a lawyer trick).
when talking to me, he will lift up his shirt and play with belly button.
he will wear a polo, khakis, and his black dress shoes that should be worn with a suit.
He will forward me emails from the current girl he is dating and ask me to interpret her mood and the tone in her email (which would be fine if we are friends, but he is my superior), He will also call me when he is out of the office and ask me to read him his email from his current girl (emails that he hasn't read yet). On Monday mornings he will go over his weekend dates with the current girl and ask me my opinion on "why she left his house at 2 am instead of staying the night." eeekkkk....

So, these are my favorite awkward coworkers. Next week's installment...The Boss.
Until then, who are some of your favorite awkward coworkers?


Bridget Marie said...

LOL! Too funny...
; - )

Mrs. Stilettos said...

um...I don't even know what to say?! I'm totally cringing?!

1. do NOT talk in the bathroom - and if your going to talk freaking talk to yourself in your head..NOT OUT LOUD!

2. wtf? belly button?! playing with it? this made me gag

3. don't you wish a fly would go into that whistler's mouth?!

Whitney said...

Hilarious. This whole post is hilarious.

Sarah said...

LOL this post seriously is too funny! First off I love the picture. Secondly I HATE Bathroom Talkers. They are the worst. We have one here(my company has over 200 employees just in one section) that I just cringe every time I hear her speak!

Good Post, I can so relate!

Marlene said...

AHAHAHA! Those are awful... and great!

I have a very close-talking boss with bad breath. *shudder*

Saskia said...

This post is so funny! Where do all of these weird co-workers come from? They are in every workplace!

I sit next to a guy that clicks his pen constantly. He clicks it at least 2 or 3 times a second. It's so irritating!