I own one tube of waterproof mascara. And use it only for high-crying probability events. Weddings, greeting new babies, graduation, funerals.
This summer, my waterproof mascara has been used far too many times. And not, for the happy crying events- like weddings and babies. Unfortunately, its been for the bad events- the funerals and hospital visits.
As I'm sure most of you know, Boy's older brother died earlier this summer. About a week after that, I found out that my Aunt Kathy's health went severely downhill. She had pretty advanced central nervous system/brain cancer. They started her on chemo, but the chemo caused her brain to swell, which caused her to have seizures. She was put into a coma to control the seizures; that was too weeks ago. She never woke up from the coma, and today, she passed on.
Today, I heard my father cry on the phone. I have never, ever, witnessed him crying. It was painful.
Throughout these past few weeks, I told Boy very little. He'd been through so much, I couldn't burden him with my tears. I am still hesitant to ask him to come to the funeral. I'm strong enough to do this on my own--should I ask him to come along after just loosing his brother. He is one of the strongest people I know, but would this bring up painful memories? I also haven't written about it all on here. I had already asked for so many prayers for Boy and his family, I felt I'd used up my allotment.
So, this has been my summer...Tough and depressing and consisting of loosing two people who were very close to me. I start my last semester of grad school on Wednesday. I imagine it going like this, "Hi, Im littlesack. I'm on the education track in the public policy program. This past summer...I went to two funerals and learned that holding up your boyfriend during his brother's funeral is immensely painful."
I need a Xanex.