girl or woman?

I always wondered at what point I would feel like a woman, not a young lady, or a girl. I thought that gradually over the years I would make decisions that would take me farther away from girlhood and closer to womanhood. Part of me still exists in both worlds. I cry like a girl, am insecure like a girl, and still sneak peanut butter m&ms. But I also love like a woman, stand up for myself and my beliefs like a woman, and mail my own Christmas cards (something I have always associated with adulthood).

And on Thanksgiving I took one definite step away from girlhood and towards womanhood. It was after Thanksgiving dinner and everyone was sitting back to digest. I stood up, collected the plates, and went into the kitchen to do the dishes without a thought in the world. My mother had cooked all day, I certainly wasn’t going to let her clean. So there I was, for the next hour, washing dishes, while my aunts dried them, gossiping about life.

In years past I would grudgingly go help my aunts and mother clean up. But this year, I was leading the clean up, with my aunts helping me, with no grudge. It just seemed like what I should do.

This revelation may seem trivial, but to me, I really felt like I had taken one step toward being a “grown up.”

Things I'm thankful

Every year since I can remember my grandmother has asked me to give her a list of things I'm thankful for. At 13 years old it probably contained things like "bonne bell lip gloss." And while I am still thankful for a great lip gloss, my list has gotten a little bit better over the years. I know it is a few days past Thanksgiving, but, what the heck, tis the season to be grateful anyways.

So, for Thanksgiving 2008, here is a lit of things I am thankful for

1. B.How much I love him. How much he loves me and shows and tells me. The things he does for me, because of me and with me. That is he spontaneous which makes me do things I wouldn’t do without him. His calming nature. That I’ve been able to sustain a relationship for 2 years.
2. The things my mother has unknowingly taught me-kindness and caring and doing the little things to make other people smile
3. My father’s humor, wit, and sarcasm. That I always be his friend, not just his daughter
4. That my parents have made sound financial decisions so that the current financial downturn hasn’t affected us much
5. That my parents taught me to live within my means- an invaluable lesson that I think will serve me well in the future
6. My sister and how close we have become. And this year, I’m thankful for P. for making her happier
7. My cat cheeto
8. The strength to get through these last few years of school (hopefully)
9. Happy friends
10. Wine
11. Chocolate (peanut butter m&ms)
12. My core group of girlfriends that are wonderful, lovely, and who care for me like family
13. The internet and how it has made communicating with friends and family so much easier
14. How beautiful my twin niece and nephew are
15. Gluten free food
16. For having friends that care enough about my allergy to adapt their lifestyle so I can eat with them
17. My job

showering thoughts

While conditioning my hair this morning, I had a thought. Time really does just fly by and if you don’t stop to savor it, it truly will pass you by. And in order to savor it- you have to plan it. Recently I was in a bar and was surprised by the appearance of my best friend, a girl I hadn’t seen in over two months! My shock at seeing her, combined with my beer tears, led to an emotional hug (at least on my end).

But how does that happen? How did my life go from spending hours with this gal pal everyday to not seeing her for over two months!? I was upset with myself for letting that time slip away- for not planning to see her.

That whole experience is just the first step of me realizing what thousands have before me: that post-graduation life is starkly different from the college days. Living next door and down the street from your best friends is incomparable in experience. You just knew that Friday nights would be spent together making debauchery at the bar, and that Wednesday nights were for wine and “Lost”. Nothing was planned, it just was the way it was.

It’s this doing, yet not planning, that i truly miss.

As I navigate this new lifestyle, I’m sure I’ll come across some other revelations as well. I just hope that I plan them into my work week, or I might pass them by.

Welcome to the quarterlife

This summer I went to five weddings. Five beautiful, lovely weddings and a few for some ladies I love like family. This summer, I also graduated college. and that was it. Proud as I was to participate in my graduation ceremony, it certainly wasn't a wedding. For one, there were 5,000 other individuals wearing the exact same outfit as me. (Not my idea of feeling special). For a few months I had a difficult time as some of my best gal pals were starting wonderful new adventures with their handsome hubbies while I was moving back into my parent's house to live somewhere for free as I started grad school.

So, as my beautiful friend has blogged about her wedding and her life as a newlywed, she has encouraged me to write about my twenty something life and all the ups and downs of navigating my twenties, and the ever pending quarter life.