I haven't done a Not Me! Monday in awhile, but I've been saving up some good ones.
This past week...
I certainly did not drop a tampon out of my pocket at a restaurant on my way to the restroom. Upon my return, I did not watch the waiter, bend over to pick it up, realize what it was, hesitate, and then say, "ooooohhhhh noooooo." Certainly not.
While in Venice I most definitely did not have a gluten attack in the middle of a museum tour. I was not pacing back and forth, sweating, waiting for the feeling to go away while doubled over in pain. I was definitely not the last person up the stairs and to the bathroom. I did not have to approach the woman at the front of the line and explain that, this was, in fact, an emergency, and could I please step in front of her. I did not have to wait what felt like an eternity until one of the stalls opened up, the entire time speaking broken Italian to the bathroom attendant trying to explain that if that stall did not open up in less than 2 minutes, it was going to be bad. No, that did not happen to me at all.
Last week at work, I clearly did not let another tampon fall out of my pocket in the middle of the hallway as I passed two coworkers chatting. When I walked down the hallway five minutes later, I did not see that little treasure sitting in the middle of the hallway, like a souvenir of my embarrassment since surely the coworkers saw me drop it, but weren't sure how to deal with that situation. Nope, not me.
And finally, in the midst of pmsing and day drinking, I did not beg Boy to drive me to the store to buy chocolate. I did not eat a king size Hershey bar. and I certainly did not finish it off with Sour Patch Kids. Nope, not me at all.
What didn't you do last week?!
I certainly did not drop a tampon out of my pocket at a restaurant on my way to the restroom. Upon my return, I did not watch the waiter, bend over to pick it up, realize what it was, hesitate, and then say, "ooooohhhhh noooooo." Certainly not.
While in Venice I most definitely did not have a gluten attack in the middle of a museum tour. I was not pacing back and forth, sweating, waiting for the feeling to go away while doubled over in pain. I was definitely not the last person up the stairs and to the bathroom. I did not have to approach the woman at the front of the line and explain that, this was, in fact, an emergency, and could I please step in front of her. I did not have to wait what felt like an eternity until one of the stalls opened up, the entire time speaking broken Italian to the bathroom attendant trying to explain that if that stall did not open up in less than 2 minutes, it was going to be bad. No, that did not happen to me at all.
Last week at work, I clearly did not let another tampon fall out of my pocket in the middle of the hallway as I passed two coworkers chatting. When I walked down the hallway five minutes later, I did not see that little treasure sitting in the middle of the hallway, like a souvenir of my embarrassment since surely the coworkers saw me drop it, but weren't sure how to deal with that situation. Nope, not me.
And finally, in the midst of pmsing and day drinking, I did not beg Boy to drive me to the store to buy chocolate. I did not eat a king size Hershey bar. and I certainly did not finish it off with Sour Patch Kids. Nope, not me at all.
What didn't you do last week?!
6 comments:
One time when I was younger...I dropped a pad at an NBA game when I was jumping up and down (it was like my very first period!) and the guy next to me picked it up and gave it back. Mortified.
wow two tampon drops in one week? you should velcro those bad boys inside your purse. lol!
LOL! That is great! I so needed that story after my Quasimodo shenanigans! Hope this week goes better for you! :)
Hahaha this cracked me up! Love Not Mes!
I did not post a picture of me and my embarassing talent on my blog tonight. Not me- I don't post pictures of myself.
I also did not leave an award for you on my blog...
Haha, your 'not me's' are always so funny! Poor you having an attach in Italy though... not fun.
Hope you're having a good week! xx
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