Sunday, July 5, 2009

I feel violated...

Thanks for all your questions, I'm working on the answers now.
But, in the meantime, I need to share this story.

Friday night, Boy and I were at a friend's (Remy) house for a bbq with about 15 people. A place we have been dozens of times, camping, partying, etc. Everyone there was either related to Remy, or Boy's other friend, Nate. Boy and I consider about 95% of the people there to be good friends.

The bbq was also in a section of our state, where people have lots of land and there is no crime. Remy keeps his keys in his unlocked car at night. The nearest neighbor is more than half a mile away.

Midway through the evening, I threw my purse in Boy's car because I didn't want to accidentally forget it and then Boy and I walked back to the bonfire, leaving the car unlocked.**

An hour or so later, Boy and I get up to leave, get in the car, and my purse is gone. Just 100% completely missing. I was not drinking at all this night because I had a 11 mile run planned on Saturday, so it wasn't my foggy brain misplacing my bag. Without a doubt, someone had took it.
As rationally as possible, Boy and I talked to Remy and said, look, someone went into Boy's car and took my bag, and while we aren't accusing anyone of taking it--someone took it. It's that simple.

Yes, there is a 1% chance that a random stranger walked down this random road and walked down Remy's 1/2 mile long driveway and randomly spotted Boy's car, and randomly took my purse. Yes, it's possible, yet highly unlikely.

So---how do I go about processing this information? I am 99% sure that someone at that bbq took my bag. These are all people that we see on a regular basis and, in fact, have plans to go camping with them in two weeks. How am I supposed to get over it...knowing that someone we consider to be a friend, went into Boy's car and purposefully took my bag? Now, there were 3 people there that Brent and I don't consider friends, but they are family of Remy's or family of Nate's. So, even if this person wasn't our friend directly, we've still hung out with them before, and shouldn't they have enough respect for their own family not to put all of us in this situation. is a situation.. Congratulations-- you got 60 dollars in cash; my birth control packet; all my cards- insurance, library, gym, license, credit (which i cancelled); my 20 dollar sigg water bottle; my overly expensive prescription contact eye drops; my keys; my work keys; my shitty ass 4 year old phone, and a bunch of other random stuff that isn't that important, but that I miss. Oh, and also, you took my sense of security.

But--in taking all those things, you created a horrible situation. Now, Boy and I are super wary of these friends, and who they hang out with. And although we practically know that someone there took it, we had to ask all of our friends if they had "accidentally" picked up my bag. We accused our friends of stealing, because, well- someone did. Nate and Remy are both upset with Boy because we were asking their family members about it. (and I would be pissed too, if we were in there shoes, but I hope they understand how we feel- utterly violated and betrayed). I feel so tormented inside, its unreal. I can't even stop thinking about. It would have been better had it happened at a bar and my a random stranger. But now, we all have to deal with the aftermath of it. That, someone I KNOW STOLE FROM ME. Every spare second, I think about, running it over in my head- how could someone possibly do that?

I hope the shit you got outta my purse was worth it. I really do.

**In hindsight, I know this sounds so awful, but of the many times we have been at Remy's we have never locked our car. It's just not something you worry about there.


Yankee Girl said...

That is horrible. It definitely would have been better if a random stranger stole from you. You would still feel violated but you would also still be able to trust your friends.

I have no advice for this situation other than to keep searching for answers and maybe cancel the camping trip. Boy's friends should at least try to understand how you are feeling and should hopefully ask around themselves. If that happened to someone at my house I would be horrified and embarrassed.

Good luck replacing all of your things. Hopefully the culprit will soon be revealed.

B.o.B. said...

Oh man that sucks. It sucks the most that know you feel that some of your friends or friends of friends are suspect. Things are replaceable, trust is not.

Marlene said...

I would feel completely betrayed/violated/angry/hurt/confused... etc. I'm so sorry. What a terrible thing to have happen.

I hope things work out okay. :[

Morgan said...

So sorry to hear about this!

Saskia said...

That's awful Littlesack... it would have been better if a stranger had stolen from you. For someone you know to have trampled over your trust like that is terrible.


Saskia xx

PS your news is SO EXCITING!! I bet you can't wait!

Pink Pearls & Muddy Sneakers said...

I am so, so sorry. I know it is a Hereford-esque area, and no, you are not supposed to lock your doors there (or places like it)! I have felt uncomfortable in situations like that, because I am afraid if people see me lock my doors, they will think I am being judgey or weird or they will think something like, "Who does she think is going to take her stuff? It's us!" so it is socially unacceptable to lock.

Ugh. SO sorry. xo

Anonymous said...

Thats awful! I absolutely hate being stolen from, the icky feeling that it leaves inside of you. I'd rather someone spit in my face!! I'm so sorry you guys had to deal with this, Boy is so great tho!! So you're lucky there

Landlocked Mermaid said...

OH I am sooo sorry! i CANT imagine how you feel! that is just awful. especially that it is people you know. I am sorry. I'd be bummed and mad too. xo